Album Review: Julian Casablancas- Phrazes For the Young

For four agonizing years, The Strokes were driven into exile. Not by fiery protests and broken pharmacy windows, rather by the emerging ideas of today's dim music scene. The five men from Manhattan did not want to be part of such a bland concept, so they dispersed from the public's eye to regroup and revitalize their ideas. The band members-turned-brothers seperated, almost all of which pursuing side careers, except for one Mr. Casablancas: the mind, voice and soul behind The Strokes' near domination of the music world in 2001. And as of November 2, 2009, Julian Casablancas has returned blasting to the forefront of the musical outersphere with Phrazes For The Young.
At eight songs in length, this solo album appears as just a footnote between larger projects, but it surprises us with incredible diversity and explores twenty songs' worth of ideas, rhythms, and effects. We'd expect nothing less from Casablancas, the musical perfectionist. The cavalcade of synthesizers, muted guitars and multi-faceted drum tracks, paired with his soulful, piercing voice is a voyage across the cityscapes of Casablancas' mind. For fourty minutes, you become encased in his lyrics that are filled with regret, pain, euphoric pleasure and the demise of the Native American tribes of modern-day New York City. And after the fourtieth minute ticks away, you are left feeling the reverberations of Julian's sublime song-writing.
I believe that Julian's surname is rather fitting to his career, because Casablancas' brainchild, Phrazes For The Young, is enshrined in a rhythmic institution of the purest white. You can see how distinguished the musical face of the album is: flawless structure, unblemished exterior, and a slight but charming overbite of sadness. How did I cope being in this era sans The Strokes? I do not know, and that is a question I no longer have to think about.

All Fro One, One Fro All: The Matt Gomez Chronicles, Volume 1 of 16

Winner of the Nobel Prize in the category of keeping it real (judged by the ever-pleasant Snoop Dogg), the first installment of the greatest epic this side of 0 A.D. is a parable of the ages. It is filled with unrelenting joy, obliterated dreams and PG-13 rated fight sequences, and they are mixed to the point where one cannot tell one from the other. As the readers delve into the tumultuous beginnings of our meek hero, they learn of the different stages of his life: the blonde Tarzan toddlerhood, the childhood-consuming leopard fixation, the 'Leche/Pudgy Harry Potter' period, the armed robbery debacle and simply... Fromez. These seemingly unrelated events would be precursors to Gomez's rise to glory and the immortality of his influence upon the Earth. This book leads the reader to society's almighty question...Snoop Dogg can read?

"This story saved our marriage!" -Jon and Kate Gosselin

"Matt Gomez read my poker face... :(" -Lady Gaga

"What do you think I think like to read while I'm eating the presidential corn flakes, The New York Times? **** that, I read The Matt Gomez Chronicles!" -Barack Obama

Top Three Soccer Players (Current)

My top three current soccer players will be ranked according to three characterisitics: scoring touch, leadership abilities and consistency.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo- This Real Madrid ace is number three on my list because of his ability to create scoring chances from nothing, but his hotheadedness and Jupiter-sized ego makes him more of an asset than a leader. In terms of goals scored, Ronaldo scored 26 goals in all competitions last year with Manchester United. Given his current form, he will most likely score more this season. He is not the traditional, sportsmanlike leader and is not a captain of his current club. He is only 24, and is still quite immature and tempermental. Instead, Cristiano leads the team by example and his blistering pace on the pitch. And he has one of the most consistent scoring foots in top-flight football, but his discipline is shoddy and can flare up at any moment.

2. Lionel Messi- The pride of Argentina makes number two on the list of my top soccer players. He is widely regarded as the best in the world, and I do not disagree. The lightning-fast winger had a tremendous season with Barcelona last year, scoring 38 goals and winning three major trophies. He is creative, fluid and triumphant over defenders that are half a foot taller than him. He is rarely injured, making him as consistent as a 22-year old can get. The wonder-kid orchestrates all aspects of attacking side on his team, creating as well as finishing, but he is a quiet beast, and does not lead his fellow comrades. For this, Lionel Messi does not grab the coveted number one spot.

1. Cesc Fabregas- Most people who read this will be confounded when they see my choice, but Fabregas is incomparable to Messi and Ronaldo and he definitely deserves to grace the highest pillar of the podium. He is my favorite player, playing for my favorite team, Arsenal. If one looks at his goal tally for last year's season, most would gawk at the measley digit on the screen: three. Why does this goof deserve top spot? That is because Cesc is the lifeblood of Arsenal's spine-chillingly beautiful attacking play. He led the English Premier League in assists last year, and is currently on a spectacular run. In fourteen games, he has hit the net eight times, and has assisted his team-mates 12 times. Being the top scoring midfielder in the EPL, number one in assists, and captaining his club all at the tender age of 22, Fabregas is a central midfielder in a class of his own. He started his professional career at 16, so he has the experience and consistency of any 30 year old in the league, and he has only sustained one major injury in his 7 seasons with Arsenal. Astounding, no?

Is my top three biased? I think so, but I doubt anyone in the class would contest my decisions. I think that because frankly, I'm sure no one knows who I'm talking about. Beckham who?

Super Powers!

If I could have any super power, I would have the power to persuade anyone to do anything. I'd be given the ultimate gift of gab, and use my smooth words to have my way with anything. I chose this over other extravagant powers like flying and fireballs because they just end up complicating things. With those powers, I'd probably end up accidentally killing myself, and/or getting my butt handed to me by another person with the same powers. However, if I was a master persuader, I'd get everything I wanted in life with no hassle, and I could just persuade any of my enemies to either a)persuade them to worship the ground I walk on, or b)convince them the rat poison under the sink is a cookie dough. Another upside to to this power would be persuading my delightful English teacher to give me a 5/5 on this particular blog entry... I can dream, can't I?